Monday, March 31, 2008

Who has your back?

My daughter is at an age where she is a little dramatic to say the least. I don't know where she gets it from but she sounds like she is 25 rather than 5. My ex, her father, came by to pick her up the other day and she did not want to go with him. She was being demanding and crying. He reprimanded her and asked me to back him up. I did as soon as he asked me and I'm a bit ashamed that I didn't do it before he asked me to. I was flummoxed because we hadn't really faced this before.

My ex and I have not parented together. Our daughter was not even a toddler when we split up so aside from sharing diaper changes and feedings we didn't have to work together where behavior was concerned. I think our daughter has figured this out.

Had this behavior occurred when it was just me and the daughter I would have acted appropriately. Having my ex there made me less inclined to do so because it felt as if he and I were ganging up on our daughter. Of course we were doing no such thing and in fact had I been more in tune to the situation we would have been parenting the way we are supposed to.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Computer Crash

My computer crashed. Please go to Redhead Ranting to read about my experience with Hewlett Packard customer service.

I will not likely be able to post here until this is resolved. Check on redheadranting for updates. Thank you and if you have any experience with crashed computers and customer service please let me know. Jen

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Negative comments

Years ago when my son was two or three years old I was frustrated with his father. I don't recall what I was frustrated about but I let it slip in front of my son that I thought his father was a jerk. Oops! What a huge mistake. My little boy took me to task over it. He said that I was not allowed to call his daddy names and that I should have a time out. Out of the mouths of babes.

How right he was. I slipped. I goofed. I messed up. It was over 12 years ago but I still cringe when I think about it. How I hurt my little boy by calling his father anything less than wonderful. I never did it again. He put me in my place very nicely thank you.

When couples split it is easy to get wrapped up in the arguing and hurt that each other is causing. This should never be express to the children no matter how young or old they are. By making negative comments about your ex you are making negative comments about your child. Or at least that is how you should think about it. The child is half of both parents and at the earlier ages they identify solely through there parents.

Instead of running off at the mouth save complaining about an ex for times when you are alone with a friend. When with children it is important to tell them how wonderful their other parent is even if you have to gag to say it. You don't even have to believe it but your kids do and will. And remember, there was a time when this other person meant the world to you too. They do have great qualities they just happened to be masked by all the bickering. In time these qualities will show themselves again and are always there for the child.