Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Something is going around

I have been sick the last couple of days. I had to spend a fair amount of time in the ER and while I was gone my son looked after my daughter. There is a ten year spread between the two so it happens every now and again that he baby sits. I am not prepared however to leave the two of them over night. I think he could take care of her just fine but there would be no one to nag him to get his homework finished or get up for school on time. He can't drive yet so he wouldn't be able to drive his sister to school and more importantly couldn't drive if he had to. Under these circumstances it seems appropriate to ask the ex to step in and take care of daughter for an extra day or two.

The ex has not been able to do this. I don't know why, he says he has other plans and can't help me out. Certainly it is his prerogative to help or not and certainly it is helping me out but it is also helping our daughter and he didn't see that. He is the only divorced dad I know who fights about having too much time with his child. We have the every other weekend arrangement. Every other guy I know who shares parenting responsibilities with an ex is fighting to see the child more often. I know he is anomaly. I know that most dads would spend more time with their kids if they were asked or allowed.

It doesn't matter as much now as the kids are older and not nearly as dependent on me but when daughter was little I couldn't afford to be sick. There wasn't time and there were too many other things to do than get better. His position was the same as it is now. He didn't want to help me out. Giving me a break would have been good for all concerned especially the baby. I am a better parent when I get a little recuperative time. He has never had daughter with him for more than a weekend at a time so doesn't see this I guess.

I find it interesting that now when ever I do get sick or throw my back out it always seems to fall on the weekend that I don't have children. The weekend I am supposed to be out being a single woman enjoying life. I end up stuck at home with soup and a blanket. When he dropped our daughter off she immediately sat down and curled up with me, which was great and made me feel better having her near, then she puked all over the couch.

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