Monday, February 4, 2008

Dating 101

When do you tell your ex spouse that you are seeing someone new? Do you wait until the relationship is serious or do you tell them everytime you see someone casually?

I haven't informed my ex of anyone I have dated. So far none of the relationships have been serious enough to warrant the possible backlash that I fear I might experience. He has also not told me about any women he has been seeing, I suspect for the same reason. Certainly if I were to be in a relationship where I might consider remarrying I would tell him but it seems pointless for a casual fling.

Since the kids live with me 95% of the time I don't date as much as I would like. I don't want to introduce my children to a guy who might not last so I refrain from introducing them to the person of interest. Consequently I date when my kids are with their dad. My ex and I don't have any rules for this. I can't make him not see people when our daughter is spending the weekend but I would appreciate it if he didn't. I don't grill my daughter when she gets home either. I do ask what they did and if she had a good time but I don't try and get her to divulge information that she has probably been told not to tell mommy. I think I keep potential mates from the kids for this reason. Plausible deniabilty. They can't tell if they don't know.

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