Still not talking

My most recent ex and I are still not talking. You can read about why in an earlier post. To say that we aren't talking is of course misleading. We have to talk with regard to his parenting time. Since the episode however there has been no chatting between us. Rarely a "hello". When he dropped our daughter off last Sunday he didn't even come onto the porch. He just sort of pushed my daughter through the door. It's really very funny. And it's better than getting upset in front of our daughter but it'd be nice if we had a place between getting along great and not getting along at all. This will pass. I will send him an email in the next week or so and give in. I will let him do the work he wants on his timeframe and his way. If I don't give in this will go on for ages and I don't have the patience for that. If I don't give in it will still pass but nothing will be resolved and that was what our marriage was like. Seems to me that was one of the benefits of getting a divorce... that we could get past some things. Of course that is silly. I knew getting a divorce wouldn't change a thing with regards to how well or poorly we communicate. He thought it would make a difference but that's because I was the problem. Sorry my sarcasm is showing.

What if you can't get along?

What if you simply can not get along with your ex but you still have to see them and communicate with them on a regular basis?

Mom's advice is still the best "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all".

Eliminate the snide comments. They really aren't helpful. If you must point out your ex's flaws and failures buy a notebook and write it in there. Your ex already knows how you feel you don't need to keep sharing it.

On the flip side try complimenting your ex. It can disarm them very effectively.

If you end up arguing or worse using abusive language or even use violent behavior then use a facility such as a Safety Center for the exchange of the children. This way you don't need to see your ex at all. Usually these places are used by people with restraining orders but they can be used by anyone as long as both parties agree. There is usually a fee involved and it isn't always in a convenient location but it can make pick ups and drop offs much more peaceful for you and your ex and especially your kids.